For a few weeks after destiny had saved me from hell, I sort of, well, how can I put it, I left my troubles behind. I left my girlfriend, if I could have called her that, in the past. Her family were lovely people but she wasn’t, so I moved on. When I went back to work everyone asked me the same questions. “Are you ok?, how did it happen, is the car a write off?” And of course the time honoured and inevitable “You’re very lucky” You know, the usual in those circumstances. I remember vividly recounting one particularly funny incident at the scene of my accident to my friends whilst we were drinking coffee in the canteen. I put my shoulder to the car door, it snapped open amid the bricks and dust, I stood up and my head was touching the light fixture that had fallen away from the ceiling, swinging gently because of the breeze that blew through the large hole in their living room wall. A man’s voice brought me to my senses, but unfortunately, it was the sight of him that sticks in my memory. It appeared that their living room was opened up (no pun intended) so that the staircase came elegantly into the room between the living room and the kitchen. I looked towards the sound of his voice and I saw his socked feet first, then his short but muscular legs, then the head of his appendage, which swung freely, very partially hidden by the string vest he wore without embarrassment, which was probably my fault considering the carnage that welcomed his swinging member. As I remember, and I don’t know why I remember, but he was hung like king Kong’s thumb. Looking back, I like to think that I hadn’t been witness to a semi arousal moment, but then again, if it was completely flaccid then surely he would one day be arrested for man slaughter. Ok, I’m shaking my head now and remembering the words that tumbled out of his mouth, repeating in surprisingly soft tones “F#*%ing hell, my house, it’s falling down”. He looked at me and, without looking angry (Amazing) he asked me if I was OK, to which I didn’t answer, I just looked around me like a shell shocked soldier. His wife came down the stairs after him and I remember his wife offering me a whisky to stop me shaking. I had just politely refused after sitting down at their kitchen table when I saw the red and blue lights making disco colours on what remained of their living room walls. I could hear one of the police men saying to his colleague “F&*%$£G hell!”, over and over, obviously shocked at the massive clue I had kindly left for them. Now, moving forward to a few weeks after the event, I finished work at 2pm in the afternoon, and having just bought an electric guitar, complete with amps from my friend, I was in the process of unloading my brother’s car boot when my new neighbours front door opened, a lady looked over at me, smiled, and started talking to me like it was the most natural thing in the world, and that was the real beginning of my destiny.
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