Throughout my life I have been through episodes of feeling disconnected from life, meaning, I watched life pass me by and felt detached and unaffected by life.
I used to blame my parents for that disconnection because of how they disconnected themselves from all forms of family festivities. We never had any family over for Christmas, no friends popped around, nothing happened, the only thing that was out of the ordinary and indicated it was Christmas time was when the Christmas tree was up and festive movies played on the TV.
Because of that, I found it mentally exhausting and physically draining to join in a ‘Normal ‘ or ‘Conventional’ Christmas time when I met and moved in with the woman who became my wife.
It was strange for me because I had to convince myself to unlearn my old habits and faze myself into some new ones. But I managed it eventually! Looking back I realise that I naively believed that my life would always remain the same. I didn’t really understand that time never stops, and that every second of the life I was living back then would soon become a part of my history.
Maybe that’s why I coped with the sadness in the house because I knew innately that nothing lasts forever.
And now, ironically, after getting used to all the family get togethers, parties and nights out, I always seem to be working, especially on New Years Eve !!
However, I don’t feel like it matters a great deal because I can always catch up with everyone and everything. I don’t feel isolated anymore because I can feel there’s always something good, different and surprising around the corner, so that’s something to look forward to.