I Have No Clue

I haven’t posted for a while. I’m not sure why. It’s difficult to say to all the people I know In person but I need to say it. I’m crying inside, I never show it to anyone I know, all they see is a happy, smiling man who apparently, lives life the way they want to live their life. Happy, carefree. But, my smile hides sadness, I’m crying inside without shedding any tears.

14 thoughts on “I Have No Clue

  1. Take care John, I’m sure whatever it’s you are feeling, you’ll get over it… Try to let go, including emotions, drink lots of water, go for long walks… I hope you will feel better soon…

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Sure it does. A situation must be worked through, depression is a biochemical issue that may be managed medically. I can’t treat you medically but I can encourage you as you work through an situation. None the less, you posted it, therefore you are reaching out, want to be heard, want to talk about it so here we are. I’m listening….

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I hear you John. The stuff we cannot change can be crippling. Do you have a mate you can talk to? Could you blog it out into the open, and release some of the sadness? You have already been candid about your life. I’m certain people would respond with empathy. Hope you get a good sleep and feel at least a bit better.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Men are lonely creatures. In really don’t have anyone to do things with anymore. After my faith loss I lost my family and friends too. I feel your pain my friend.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I don’t even know you. We just started following each other’s blogs several months ago. But you’ve made me laugh a lot, and I’m very sad to hear that you’ve basically been crying underneath. Don’t shove the pain down. Nothing good will come of that. I think everyone above is right. You’re reaching out, even if whatever it is isn’t changeable or fixable, and you need to talk about it. Maybe not with a stranger (me) but friends or professionals. But I would listen as a stranger, too, for sure, if asked.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I wish I had some great advice, the sort of thing that would make you smack yourself on the forehead and say “Of course! The answer was right in front of me all along!”

    But I’ve had problems with depression, too, and I know there aren’t any such words.

    I hope you find a way through, and find your old self sooner than you expect.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Take the feelings out of your head and heart by writing them down. Journaling- It’s freestyle writing about whatever is in your head at the time and how you are feelings. Sometimes, when you see it, then you start to piece it together. Enroll your family because sometimes they see other things you may have missed. Just like joy, sadness comes from a source. Godspeed

    Liked by 2 people

  7. There are plenty of reasons to cry (I cried a lot these past few days over what has happened in Sri Lanka) and I do think crying or feeling sad is natural at times. I find crying an be a great relief sometimes. If it lingers and won;t go away, then it is wise to seek help – a good friend who is emotionally mature, or a health professional. But if it is occasional sadness, I would not be alarmed too quickly.

    This world is upside down and back to front. Not many of us have the warmth, love and security that makes humans thrive, but we often do have a lot of stresses. Many have had losses little and large. Some have regrets, guilt, anxieties, fears that they cannot unravel and straighten out. Some have questions and feel noone can provide answers. And at times the only manifestations that something is wrong is internal sadness.

    It is good to acknowledge feeling sadness at times. I wish more people would John.

    I was walking home the other day and I was choked up with tears…simply because I was overwhelmed with how much I am longing to be with Goldfinch…and even though I have bought my ticket, the intensity of wanting to be with him just overwhelmed me.

    Liked by 3 people

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