It’s difficult to put into words why I feel so dejected and hopeless lately. It’s really not like me, I usually cope with the shit life sometimes throws up. I don’t usually let things effect me. I never look for sympathy, at least I don’t think I do, so I’m not writing this for sympathy.
I normally have a smile for everyone, even when I’m sad inside I still smile and get on with things.
I remember when I had just left school I broke out in teenage acne. That really depressed me and my older brother (6 years older) relentlessly teased me to the point that I locked myself in my room for a month, only coming out to use the toilet and collect a plate of food. I felt very sorry for myself and I remember being ashamed of the way I looked and even more ashamed of the amount of self pity I was wallowing in.
Right now, I feel the same way, not because of acne or anything like that, but I recognise the same feeling of hopelessness, and I have no idea why.