Final Chapter: Fun, Frolics And Flatulence In Turkey.

So, here we are at the end of a long series of blogs about our recent holiday to Side, in Turkey.

Remember when I mentioned the sub standard food in the restaurant in the first couple of posts ? Well, I forgot to mention that Shuffle was the only one out of all four of us to actually like the food!!! Thinking back, the reason behind that revelation was Probably that he ate chips or/and mashed potatoes at virtually every meal! Maybe we should have taken his lead because most of of the food was bloody awful, evidenced by the fact that lots of people left the complex to eat, and that despite the fact that it was a mostly all inclusive resort!!

My abiding memory of eating in the restaurant involved one particular evening meal! We were very near the end of the meal when Shuffle asked Grave digger (Seriously) to put his teeth in her handbag!! The very same teeth that had just noshed on chips and mashed potatoes, followed by a Sweet pudding!! I think, but I’m not sure, that Mother hen said to Digger with a look of horror on her face but with in a hushed tone “You’re never gonna put them in your bag?!” Personally, I thought it was a brilliant, innovative and hilarious request by Shuffle, but before I could witness the gruesome deed, Hen left the restaurant so I followed her, leaving Shuffle and Digger to finish the remains of their food. We (Me and Hen) got our drinks at the bar and found a table by the pool for all four of us to sit around for the evening. Shuffle and Digger joined us a few minutes later and I noticed he didn’t have teeth in his mouth when he spoke. I asked him, with my tongue touching my teeth where they were, but obviously knew what the answer was!! They were nestled safely, somewhere at the bottom of Diggers bag!!! Hilarious, pure comedy gold at its best!!

Dragging my thoughts away from the restaurant comedy, I have to mention our day trip to the sea. We used a mini bus that the holiday complex laid on, free of charge for the people who stayed at the complex. The ‘Trip’ to the beach front took approximately 5 minutes! Yes, 5 (Five) minutes!! Actually, a couple of days after our day on the beach, myself and Mother Hen walked from the exact same spot on the beach front and it didn’t take us fifteen minutes (And we strolled at that) Anyway, I digress. We set up our sun-loungers on the very hot sand, erected our parasols and applied sun cream on Mother Hen’s Hitleresk orders and then took the short walk down to the sea. We waded in together and after the initial shock of what we thought was cool sea water, once the onrushing sea was up to the waist, it was very comfortable and warming. Shuffle stayed in the sea with his carer (Me) haha for a little longer than the women, who went back to the sun loungers after about 5 minutes swimming around. Throughout the morning and some of the afternoon, all of us went intermittently in and out of the sea to escape the heat of the sun.

I felt it first, but didn’t mention it to the other 3!! Little black fish attacked my toes and heels whenever I stood still for to long on the bed of the sea. I think they were after the little pieces of dead skin that accumulate on the feet. (A person could swim out quiet a long way and still stand up shoulder height in the sea) At first it was a shock, I looked down the first time the fish nibbled my feet, but once I could see what was biting me, I felt secure that they couldn’t harm me and so I relaxed and actually enjoyed the attention from the little fish. However, when they attacked Shuffle’s feet, it was very funny!! (Sorry Stu) From swimming around in a very relaxed state, surrounded by beautiful, serene surroundings,  Shuffle took me  by surprise, shouting “Ahhh, Ahhhhhh, somethings biting me! Ahhhhh”. Then he started jumping around in the water and told me he was getting out! At that, he scarpered full pelt out of the sea and didn’t get back in again, preferring to bake in the sun rather than face the fish. Don’t get me wrong, I had sympathy for him because he had a toe amputated during an operation years ago, so it must have been painful to have little black fish chomping on the stump of his toe, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at his reaction (Sorry Stu) We stayed on the beach until about 3 or 4 in the afternoon, then waited for the mini bus to take us back to the complex. Lovely morning/afternoon.

Now, a few more things to document about our holiday concerning the Grave Digger. When we moved apartments on the first day of the holiday, mine and Mother Hen’s phone chargers went missing! We thought that we’d left them behind in the first apartment, so we went to reception to ask them if they would look for them for us. Anyway, we didn’t hear anything from the staff all afternoon so resigned ourselves to the possibility that somewhere in Side, a cleaner was enjoying their good fortune. However, later in the day, Digger miraculously handed said phone chargers over to Mother Hen. I pulled Diggers leg by suggesting she had tried to add our phone chargers to the two hundred she had already (Acquired) stashed away in her wardrobe back home (Jokeeee)

On another occasion, I went to the onsite shop to buy an English Sunday newspaper. I managed to check on Saturday’s football results then (Piff, paff, poof) miraculously, the newspaper disappeared!! (It cost me £5!! Somehow, it had managed to grow legs and climb into Diggers handbag!! Throughout the holiday, Digger managed to lose something of hers or Shuffles nearly every day. (I suspect everything ended up in her handbag) It’s just as well Shuffle gave her his teeth because I suspect they would have gone AWOL whilst he was eating his chips!!!

One more thing to say about our nights around the pool before I end this final post. Remember when I told you how the Grave Digger got her name, by always digging up the past? Well, when she decided to dig Shuffles past up, he would look up to the sky or anywhere else were Digger wasn’t in his view and pretend to ignore her 😂 This amused me. So, when Hen started to peck my ears, I would join Shuffle by looking into the distance and pretending to ignore her. We took it one step further and both looked up to the sky midway through normal conversations 😂 The term for looking into the distance and thinking about nothing is actually called Boketto. I informed Shuffle of the name so on a regular basis we would say “Boketto ” in unison and stare into the distance 😂😂 We had some great laughs around the pool every night. I don’t miss various items going ‘Missing ‘! but I miss those nights.

Well, that’s about it, apart from the journey home, we had a very relaxing holiday. I may have come across as taking the piss out of Shuffle, Digger and Hen, but I wouldn’t enjoy myself as much if they were not there with me.

So cheers, and here’s to the next holiday.

6 thoughts on “Final Chapter: Fun, Frolics And Flatulence In Turkey.

  1. Well, as Barbra Streisand sang, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world!
    Sounds like a good time (minus the meals) but including the little black fish!

    Liked by 1 person

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