When I was a very little boy, about 5 or 6, my father bought our first TV, at least I think he bought it (I discovered as I grew up that he had a tendency to be light fingered, sorry dad!) It was a farting little black and white thing and we had to huddle around it to see the picture properly. Then we moved on up in society (Dad was awarded an Increase in benefits!) and he rented a 16 inch colour TV from a company called Radio Rentals.
I was absolutely fascinated with all those colours flashing across the what was then, a large screen! I couldn’t wait for Match Of The Day to air on a Saturday night so I could watch the coloured jerseys running around the bright green pitch. It actually broke my heart when the company came to take it away because dad had not kept up with the payments!
Then, when my brother started working, he went to the same retailer and rented a 22 Incher, I was practically orgasmic for weeks until the novelty wore off. It felt like the cinema had landed in my living room.
As we all know, the size of TV screens have grown exponentially over the years, I think some of them are not far off cinema screen size. Watching a movie or live sports is almost as good as actually being there (But not quite)
So about 4 weeks ago my TV made a strange popping sound, then the screen went blackish grey, with green lines jerking across the screen just to piss me off!!
My best friend, Stuart the Shuffler, let me use his spare TV (28 inches) until I could muster up the courage to buy a new one.
Today I went to buy a new one (50 inches) an all singing, all dancing “Here I am big boy” TV that would satisfy my yearnings!! Who said size isn’t everything?! (Most of my past girlfriends, but that’s another blog)
When I took it back to the house, I unpacked it and moved my besties TV to make room for its bigger, brand new brother. Just as I was about to attach the small stand to the base of the TV, the wife said “Fuck”! I said “What, right now”? But my smile temporarily disappeared when she said that she had a horrible feeling the table wasn’t long enough for the new TV!! I measured it with my eyes first, then my trusty tape measure. 2 inches to small!!! As we all know, 2 inches can make or break a tricky situation! It broke mine.
So now, we have to buy a new ‘Thing’ to sit the TV on. Putting it up on the wall is a no go as far as the wife is concerned. So it’s time to wait again for a couple of days until I have a couple of days off work. Gutted!