Taxiiiiiii Characters

Continuing my experiences as a taxi driver. As I mentioned in the last post, I would park up on the ‘Rail’ to wait with all the other taxis for people getting off the trains that passed through Chesterfield. I remember a little old lady walking out of the station, looking a bit unsteady on her feet. She looked over towards the taxi rank and I was first in line. I saw she was heading over in my direction so I quickly got out and walked over to help her with her shopping bag. As I reached her side my nose was punched (sorry) by the unmistakable aroma of vintage urine!

Nevertheless, I walked with her holding her hand and thought quickly on what seemed like a 5 mile journey to the taxi. I stepped in front of her and politely asked her to wait just a second whilst I got a carrier bag out of the boot, using the excuse that a previous customer had spilt a drink on the seat she was about to sit on (White lie) I placed the bag into position and helped her in. When her bottom hit the seat the aroma seemed to refresh itself ! I hurried around the car and asked in my best, kindest taxi voice “Where to my dear”? She replied “Clay Cross please” and I sped off with the window open. On the way to her destination, it was only 5 or 6 miles, she very sweetly confessed that she didn’t have enough money for the fare. I was halfway there and she apologised saying she was so sorry and that I could stop the car and let her walk the rest of the way if I wanted to. (The old pulling on the heartstrings routine) But, I felt sorry for her so I assured her that I’d take her home, no problem. She got out of the taxi and I carried her bag for her to a bungalow.

She thanked me several times for being kind until I got back into the car and drove back to town. I couldn’t help thinking on the drive back that she was a crafty old so and so but reluctantly admired her cheek. When I drove back onto the taxi rank my suspicions were confirmed when one of the other drivers asked, with a smile on his face “Did she pay”? I rolled my eyes and didn’t answer, I just said “The crafty old bugger”. Apparently, she would make an appearance every few weeks and wait to dupe a driver who didn’t know her!!

If you have read the previous post, you will recall that I mentioned the ‘Brad Club’ the place where a person couldn’t fail to ‘Hook up’ if that’s what they were after! Well, I took a lone, middle aged woman there one night over the weekend, and when I dropped her off she asked me if she could book me for 2am. Of course I said yes, as long as I wasn’t busy. Anyway, I pulled up outside the doors about the time she asked for, and a couple of minutes later she came staggering out, saw me and jumped in the car. The way she spoke had gone from quite articulate when I dropped her at the club too slurred gibberish when I returned to the club. The taxi ride was very short, about 2 miles or so, but during that short journey she kept hinting at sexual activity, trying to put her hand on my knee, which I brushed away whilst trying to steer the taxi in a straight line!

When we arrived at her destination she straightened up in her seat from a slouching position, pushed her chest out, looked at me in a way that I think was an attempt at seduction and asked if she could pay me with a blow job!!!

I replied with “I’d rather have the fare” and she slammed the money in my hand and slammed the car door behind her!

That was the only near sexual experience I went through in a year of driving the taxi. To be honest, I actually preferred old pissy pants in the taxi, at least I felt safe!

I’ll carry on my taxi experiences in the next post.

20 thoughts on “Taxiiiiiii Characters

  1. If the old lady was crafty enough to consistently dupe drivers…..I wonder why she couldn’t locate the Depends in the store and make good use of them? Maybe it was just an issue of clothes not being washed very often. *sigh* But no one, in the end, wants to conclude their life walking around smelling like urine, do they?

    BTW, interesting–you guys have people sit in front with you in the cabs, huh?

    Liked by 1 person

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