Johnny English Continued (A Confessional)

I suppose you could call this post a purging of my former character, so those with a nervous disposition definately need to read this because it will help you realise that your past escapades weren’t that bad after all!!!!

So, there I was, over 20 years ago, strutting my stuff in the internet chatroom, just for laughs and innocently (Honestly) chatting with people I would ordinarily never get to talk to.

The chats and surreal conversations went on for a few weeks and I must admit, I became bored but strangely addicted, if that’s possible! I would log on after work and chew the fat with people from all walks of life, from all over the world. New York cops, people from the medical profession in china, cross dressers from France etc etc

The strangely entertaining yet mundane conversations went by in the blink of a mouse click until someone at work (Who shall remain anonymous) suggested that I should try going into a chatroom frequented by people with alternative sexual orientations (No offense intended to anyone) At that time, my sense of humor was skipping along at the edge of the ‘Lets-take-thepiss-osphere’ at what could be termed as ‘Wickedly humorous without bounds or limitations’!

I thought about it, chewed it over, considered the fun I could have and thought what the hell, what harm could it do!! So, I entered a chatroom under the guise of a lascivious, bisexual woman called ‘Samantha’, I thought that name gave me a little bit of class as well as a little bit of a dangerous sexuality!

I was like a piece of hanging, dripping honeycomb that attracted the birds, bees and whatever or whoever wanted a nibble!! (Remember, this was me then, it’s not me now, I’ve grown up, I think)

‘Sam’ became, if I’m honest, a bit slutty. She was open to all sorts of experiences and sexual experiments! I recall one lady (But maybe it was a man pretending in the same way that I was) who opened up a private conversational box with Sam, and proceeded to tie her (Me) up and poke her with an electric cattle prod around the nether regions! At which point I responded via text with “Ahhhhhrgggghhh’s” and Oooohhhhhhhssss” and “Do it againnnnnnnnnn”! All the way through the erotic communication process, I was virtually crying with laughter.

However, as time and ‘Partners’ came and went, I became friendly with a woman from Virginia. Her name was Lisa, and she seemed different from everyone else in that chatroom because she had a circle of (Normal) friends (Again, no offense) who decided to included me in their group, and merely spoke about the ups and downs of their everyday lifes.

Lisa became more and more fixated with Sam, and seemed to know quite a lot about me (Sam) She sent me photographs of herself outside of her house, which was situated at the edge of a forest with the mountains as a backdrop. I later discovered it was the Appalachian mountains. I only know she was a genuine woman for the following reason.

Over a short period of time, I grew to have a respect for her, and this respect made me feel guilty. So I decided to allow her to call my number to talk to me (Sam) because she had asked me countless times for permission to call.

I answered the phone and allowed her to say “Hey Sam” in a southern drawl before speaking to her. I did momentarily consider trying to speak in a high-pitched voice but knew I had to come clean! So, I spoke to her, saying hello in my natural voice and she instantly interrupted me by asking to speak to Sam. I replied by saying “This is Sam”! The phone went silent, followed by an ear piercing “Whattt the fuckkkk” which rattled my eardrums.

To cut a long story short, she ranted at me but also couldn’t stop herself from laughing in-between swearing and calling me well deserved names. She ended the call by shouting down the phone that I was a heartless, unthinking juvenile, too which I agreed before the phone went clickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

This is a Confessional by the way but it may shock or upset so I’m sorry, but in my defence, I was very childish. I honestly believed this joke of mine wouldn’t do any harm.

How wrong I was.

To be continued.

17 thoughts on “Johnny English Continued (A Confessional)

  1. Of course she was right to call you a heartless juvenile, but at the same time one needs to count with situations like that when using these chatrooms, right? The same can happen here on WordPress. A lot of fake identities are prowling around looking for whatever it is. But you seem to have mended your ways … a bit … ??? 😉 😀
    I definitely was very immature myself at the age of 20, even at the age of 30 …

    Liked by 2 people

  2. We all do stuff we shouldn’t matey. The ‘crying with laughter’ as you extended the prank to its furthmost limits …is there anything much better? Maybe, along the way, you inadvertently taught a few people to be more discriminating and careful?
    Waiting on the next instalment. Brilliant stuff. 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

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