So the phone went clickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I didn’t go back into the chatroom, I thought it best not to antagonise the situation. Then remarkably, my phone rang a few days later with an American number flashing across the screen, I answered and it was Lisa. She simply started the conversation with “You’re an asshole”!
Again I couldn’t agree more, but she laughed and said she was “Hooked” on me as a person, not the woman I had pretended to be!! Fuck!!!
It was an unforeseen, highly irregular predicament. There I was, an English man with a warped sense of humour, who had pretended to be an English bisexual woman called Sam, and an American bisexual woman had “Fallen” for me!!!
So, what do I do? I became friendly with her as the real me. (Whoever that was) However, it became slightly unnerving when a knock came on the door. I answered it and a postman stood there with a package addressed to me!!! A big package!
I took it off him, closed the door and looked at the postmark. Virginia, USA. Shit. (Not the country you until, I mean the package)
I opened it up and a big, cuddly teddy bear burst out from its constraints, with a very strong aroma wafting from its fur. (It turned out, it was her favourite perfume) It had a dog tag around its furry neck with the word ‘John’ printed on it. In addition to the teddy, there was an envelope. Inside it was a photograph (At long distance, taken from a birds eye angle) of me standing in my back garden, which was unusual because I’ve never been an enthusiastic gardener.
Later that same day, she rang me to ask if I’d received the package? Of course I said yes, politely thanked her for the gift and asked her how on earth she had photographed me? All she would say was the company she worked for had been given something to test and she was testing it.
Of course, in hindsight, it was Google Earth, but I had never heard of it and it was very disconcerting. I remember walking to work at 5.45 in the mornings, looking up to the skies and half expecting a giant flash of a camera or a UFO to swoop down and pick me up!!!
From that day, I was forever looking over my shoulder. I recieved three more small packages. One contained a gold leafed bookmark, number 2 contained a pair of frilly, very small purple pants that had exactly the same aroma as the teddy bear!! (I might add, they were clean) The 3rd package was astonishing. It was a return flight to Virginia!
Of course, I sent the ticket back to the place she had given me as her home address.
I started to ignore her calls and eventually she stopped trying, probably after she had received her ticket back. I can’t explain it but I felt guilty for not answering the phone, but I couldn’t see any other way of dealing with it.
I was definitely an asshole, and on that occasion, my ‘Innocent joke’ definitely backfired!!!
Let this be a warning to the jokers amongst you, unless of course, you want to receive a pair of purple pants through the post!
How are you people doing? I hope, all my blogger friends are doing fine and helping out the people in need.
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A very good story. It’s also an excellent e.g. of the infinite wealth and range of human behaviour out there and of the potential for attracting stalking.
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That is so freaky! I will wear a huge hat in future and wear clothes ALL the time outside! Maybe you should have gone to visit her!? You may have changed her orientation… were the purple pants nice? ๐
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๐คฃ๐คฃ I think so, yes
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What was that address? ๐
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Derrick! lol
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๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ I’ll post it to you Derrick
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Very creepy about the photo. I’m glad there appears to be a happy ending,
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The thing is John, you got an adventure and a story. That we have all enjoyed. And some life lessons thrown in, plus a fresh pair of keks. Can’t see much downside from here! ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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๐คฃ๐คฃ actually mate, I took them to work and put them in my locker then forgot about them. So when I left the job I forgot to empty my locker so one of the lads benefited immensely ๐คฃ
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That was a scary lesson โฆ ๐
But I don’t think it was Google Earth, they usually blotch the faces of people so that you cannot recognize them. So it might have been worse than you thought โฆ ๐ ๐
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Holy shit ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ probably CIA
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At least!!! You never really knew who she was, did you? Maybe good that you did not fly to Virginia โฆ ๐
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No, I never really knew her.
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I vaguely remember hearing about this, back in the day when we were all getting PCโs.
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I don’t think many people knew chris
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I heard the story about the chat room but this is the first I know about the details. I canโt say Iโm shocked. ๐คญ
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I feel bad for her…. there’s nothing you could have done but ignore, or tell her you were taken.
Love, light, and glitter
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I felt bad too. And she knew I was taken
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Very funny and intriguing experience you had ๐
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It was kind of surreal, like being in a movie ๐คฃ thank you
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Comments are disabled in your recent post John
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Really? I don’t know what’s happened there
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It is a WP glitch. You can set it right by going to Dashboard-Posts
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All the talk about the purple pants–I assume you mean panties? Otherwise they wouldn’t have fit that easily into your locker and, more importantly, one of the lads wouldn’t have benefited from jeans. MUST have been undies, lol
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๐คฃ๐คฃ yea sorry, I meant panties, little panties
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Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
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Pants panties tomato tomato ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Pants are jeans here! Slacks, trousers, khakis!
Or something one does when they’ve run upstairs really fast!
Not panties, not here!
I was just picture you stuffing a big pair of blue jeans into your locker and then the guy who cleaned it out later getting aroused by the…color of the dye? The stiching?! LOL
Panties, undies, drawers, skivvies, undergarments.
OH! But underPANTS. Yes! We say underpants for undies sometiomes, but it’s a little formal and usually reserved for children. “Get your underpants on, Bobby! Time for school, buddy.”
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Hahaha. Ok. Get it. Pants are pants, I wear pants (Sometimes) ๐คช women wear panties (Sometimes) ๐คช you know sometimes I say underpants to people because I know it will prick their attention and they feel the need to correct me ๐คช I don’t mean people on WP and my friends (You) I mean some of the people I know where I live.
Some of they’re reactions are quite funny ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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You say underpants when you’re talking about what–panties, tighty whities, or slacks?
So I can understand how people correct you, LOL ! ! ! !
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๐คฃ๐คฃ ohhhh I tell some guys they wear panties
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What’s a tighty whitey ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Oh…yeah. Guys and panties. It’s a big insult to say, “Don’t get your panties in a bunch!” to a guy. That’s fisticuffs talk!
Tighty whities are those white underwear for men that’re form-fitting, not loose like boxers………….
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Ahhhhhhhh ok.
And yea, some men get their knickers in a twist when their masculinity is challenged ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Creepy and funny at the same time. Smart that you returned that ticket. I bet the Teddy bear was cute though…I am a bit of a teddy bear fanatic myself but I prefer the handmade artist bears over the mass produced ones of course. Also I would never accept a teddy from a stalker, they can be so annoying those stalkers out there.
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๐คฃ๐คฃ๐ haha I guess they can, but she wasn’t annoying really and it was partially my fault as well
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I like your blog I wanted tell you this
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Thank you very much, I appreciate it ๐๐
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This journey had more unexpected twists and surprising turns than any participant could ever expect.
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It was a little strange to be part of buddy. Lisa was a lovely woman. I think ‘Sam’ was also a nice person ๐คฃ
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Interesting read!
I hope you are safe during this tumultuous period! ๐ธ
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I’m doing my best but I’m working through it because I’m first response at the moment. But thanks for your kind words โฅ๏ธ
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hi john, how are you? why do not you write anymore’?
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Hi. I’m busy working on the front line at the moment, so don’t have much time.
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ok, I’m glad to know that your absence is only due to work commitments! good evening
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Thank you, it’s quite difficult right now for me to write a blog, it’s seems like I don’t get the time! But thank you for your sentiments ๐ appreciate it.
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A rather chilling post what with the picture and all but also a little funny looking at your predicament. Stay safe…
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