Viva Skeg-Vagas Part 5

So, Buddies Bar, created for relaxation during the holidays. Did we relax and enjoy ourselves? Yes we buddy well did. After watching Stu and Mel’s titanic struggle with the child’s hoodie, we arrived outside Buddies and waited for the clubs only lift to arrive and take us up to the main bar. It’s worth noting that we had to manoeuvre around several mobility scooters, (Lovingly coined Spaz Chaz by Stu, who by the way, actually uses one to get around sometimes when he’s back in Chesterfield) all parked at different angles to make it a tight squeeze.

We emerged from the lift and was met with the sight of a packed house (They must have heard we were on our way haha) with only a few empty tables up for grabs. Musslini spotted a table she fancied and marched with scary intent to commandeer it. (Sorry Angie) When we were all sat down with a beer in hand, a singer came on and belted out several well known soul tunes. He was very good. Quite a few people in the crowd got up to dance. One particular lady climbed up onto a table and danced like a woman possessed by the spirit of Linda Blair. Brilliant. She really let her hair down. Now, Mellie ‘It’s Lovely ‘ isn’t attached to anyone and hasn’t been for some time. (Me thinks he’s preoccupied with Ham Shanking) So me and Stuey egged him on to go and try one of his chat-up lines, after all, what did he have to lose, apart from 2 front teeth if she was attached to someone. He wasn’t going for it, despite the fact he had his beady eye on her all evening. During every song, she would go crazy and dance, and every time she did I would gently poke his lump, and tell him to go for it, which made Stu cry with laughter. Mellie laughed with us but couldn’t pluck the courage up to slide over the dance floor to her with his John Travolta moves. We offered advice on what he could start a conversation with, “Do you want to see my 50cc Honda” would be a good start, but he shrugged his lump and refused. Anyway, the singer finished his show and the club/pub cleared quickly, followed by us.

On the other occasion we visited Buddies, we sat inside around a table and ate lunch together. The standout moment was when Stu polished his plate of food off and then picked the plate up to tip it and slurp/drink the gravy. (Classy or what) Afterwards, we went outside on the terrace beer garden and soaked up the sun. When we sat down outside, Stu searched through his pockets and proclaimed he had lost his ecig. He asked Mel to go back inside and look for it. (There’s only Jackie who doesn’t smoke. Stu, me and Angie all use ecigs and Mellie smokes cigarettes) So off Mellie went. Whilst he was inside looking for it, Stu found it in one of his pockets (He genuinely thought he’d left it inside) We had a brilliant light bulb moment not to tell Mellie he’d found it. Mellie came back outside and said “It’s not there, I’ve looked all over for it, you’ve lost it”. Stu feigned panic and desperation and asked Mellie to go over to the outside bar (A serving hatch attached to the pub) and get one of the bar tenders attention to ask them if anyone had handed it in. Mel did as Stu asked and strode over to the hatch. We could hear him calling out for someone inside to answer. He turned to us and said “There’s nobody there”, but Stu insisted he keep trying because he couldn’t survive without his ecig. So Mellie did as Stu asked of him. He turned back to the hatch, leaned in and carried on calling out. At this point Stu, with ecig in hand, sidled over to Mel until he was stood by his side and started blowing vapour in Mel’s direction. Mel turned to Stu as he blew vapour out and said “There’s nobody there “. Mel looked at Stu vaping but it didn’t register. He then turned and called out through the hatch again, turned again to look at Stu vaping and said “Twat”. We all burst into laughter at that point because of mellies reaction. It was hilarious!!

There’s one last part to finish this off this tale, which I’ll write at some point soon.

19 thoughts on “Viva Skeg-Vagas Part 5

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