Well well Well

This is just a rare post to say hello and well well well, who would have thought it !!!!


Knock Out

Just a quick one. I’m half way through a 3 day break from work. On Monday, the sun was out so I did what little washing I had. I filled the empty basket with wet washing and walked outside to hang it on the washing line. Boooooom. I woke up not long after to discover my foot wedges in the mop bucket and the clean washing scattered all over the lawn. Some fuckin plonker (Me) had left the mop bucket on the back doorstep directly in front of the door. It happened so quickly but I must have hit the side of my head on the concrete path because I have an unwanted lump on the side of my numbskull!!! Moral of my lesson. Watch where I’m stepping in future. Owch!!!!!

Camping Trip: Part 3

As I mentioned in the last post, there were 4 incidents during our camping holiday that will forever live in my memory. The first I have already documented. ThIs next one involved a tour around a ghost/monster/Dracula attraction that was performed and exhibited in a building that looked down over the entrance to the harbour. The tourist attraction was obviously intended to scare its willing punters. It basically involved a slow, nearly pitch black walk (Stumble) around 2 floors of the building. You know the type that forces the punters to creep around touching the walls to find their way, occasionally walking into illuminated parts where someone in costume jumps out to bring you close to a cardiac arrest but all it manages to do is make you laugh. We were stumbling slowly around around the corridors, guided by hands on walls, walking past large perspect windows dimly lit but bright enough to see all manner of horrific scenes played out by costumed actors/actresses.

All four children were sandwiched between mum and dad when the floor we were walking on gave out a metallic sound when we stepped onto it. The lightning began to flicker at almost the precise moment our footsteps made a hollow metallic echo. Every few steps we walked over grates with bars covering them. The second grate we walked over made the children jump because a pair of arms belonging to an actor came up and briefly grabbed our ankles. After the initial shock we laughed, that is we all laughed apart from my youngest daughter, who froze to the spot, held onto my leg and screamed! Her reaction surprised me a little because she (Becky) always came across as a tough little Tom boy, but she was really screaming and crying and gripped my leg like a vice! We managed to negotiate the rest of the metal floor quickly, (I was walking like a stiff legged gestapo commandant) avoiding the protruding arms as much as we could. We came to the end of the ‘Amusement’ and walked out into the fresh sea air, at which point Beck had stopped crying and protesting and ran in front with her siblings, who waited for her giggling and teasing her. That moment with my daughter stays with me, I’m not sure why, maybe it’s because it was the one and only time she clung to me for protection, I don’t know but I loved how she hid behind me and wouldn’t leave my side.

Now she’s all grown up with 3 children of her own, but I still tease her about that evening in Whitby.

Part 4 will follow soon.

It’s The Little Things

It’s strange how life creeps up on you! A trivial event that seems unimportant happens, but actually, when you take the time to think about it, it’s significance forces you to understand and feel what’s important in your life.

The other week, at the end of a night out with very close friends and family, I suddenly felt uneasy, awkward and anxious, so I very quickly left the pub. My wife caught me up and asked me what was up, to which I replied I was uncomfortable and couldn’t stay around everyone, including my family . She was upset that I had “spoiled” her night and stormed off in front of me, arriving home before I did.

In her rush to follow me out of the pub, she had left something behind, so in a terrible mood, she went back into town to try and find it. (I think it was her e-cig) When she arrived back home I was asleep in bed. My wife actually woke me up to inform me that if I didn’t ‘Improve’ then we were over, finishing her drunken, crying rant with “I’m sorry, but I don’t love you anymore “.

I listened in a haze and eventually fell back to sleep. We spoke about it in the morning and she apologised, saying she didn’t mean it and it was just the alcohol talking!

So, I was/am confused! She knows I get anxious, and she knows I don’t know why I get anxious so how can I “Improve ” something when I have little to no control over my feelings!

When I try to talk to her about that night she shrugs it off as simply saying something you don’t mean whilst being drunk, adding I had said things in the past that I hadn’t meant but I’ve never told her I didn’t love her.

She, my wife, went on a weekend break with her best workmate recently to the coast. Normally, my wife will message me quite a lot to inform me of what she’s been doing and send me photographs of where she is. This time she messaged to let me know she’d arrived safely and once more to let me know she and her friend were about to leave for home.

I think there’s a problem but I can’t seem to put my finger on it. It feels strange, awkward and distant!

Maybe I should pull my finger out, man-up and push my anxiety to the back of my mind. I think it’s the least of my worries!

Camping Trip: Part 2

So, we drove into the small port town of Whitby about 3 in the afternoon like a disheveled band of desperados gagging for ice cream. I remember we parked the car and had a stroll around. We had our ice cream fix and then we needed to pinpoint where the campsite was. 15 minutes later after finding our Bearings we drove across a small bridge that stretched across the incoming sea and followed the road for about half a mile and turned left onto a long drive that led up to a camp office.

We paid the fee to camp for 3 days and were told we could choose any spot that we wanted. We chose a place that gave us a wonderful view of the sea about 12 feet from the cliff edge and a spectacular view of the Abbey. It was safe for the children because there was a small safety fence preventing anyone getting to close to the edge but it didn’t impede our view. Perfect spot. It took myself and Angie about 30 minutes to erect the tent whilst the kids went to explore the campsite.

If I had the ability to stop time, I would chose that moment. The tent behind me as I stood holding Angie by my side, the kids playing in the distance, the wide open sea view before us and the Abbey watching over everything as it took pride of place on top of the cliffs. Perfect.

For what remained of that 1st day, we walked along a path by the cliff edge that took us to the ruined Abbey made famous by Bram Stoker. The kids loved the idea of Dracula lurking lurking around the Abbey, pretending to be vampires as we walked down a rickety flight of stone steps into the heart of Whitby.

We explored every inch of Whitby over the 3 days we spent there, laughing and joking as we went, but 4 incidents have seared themselves into my memory. The 1st was when we booked to go on a ghost walk because the kids insisted. It started at 7pm and lasted for 1 hour, the guide taking us on a tour of all the places that ghosts had been seen over the centuries. The kids loved every minute, never straying far from our side, but for me, one comical incident made it worthwhile. About 5 or 10 minutes into the ghost tour the guide stopped outside a pub by the harbour that was famous locally for a resident grey lady. There were 2 guys in the background, sat in the harbour wall, feet dangling down over the edge, each nursing an almost full pint of beer and obviously the worst for wear.

The amusing thing was, when our guide spoke about the haunting of the pub they (The two pissed men) made ghost noises (Wooooooooohhhhhh) and made sarcastic but funny comments, which stopped our guide from talking and compelled him to reply with an equally sarcastic comment. The comedy continued for quite a while because they decided to follow the group around, making a quip every now and then. Right at the end of his guided tour, our guide turned around to his tormentors and told them to piss off, which they did, laughing as they mingled into the crowd of tourists.

The good thing was, the children enjoyed their ghost tour, nearly as much as I did !!

This has been an unusually long post for me so I’ll carry this on in the next episode.

Camping ⛺️Trip

During our (My small families) early days of struggling for money after we had tied the knot, the opportunity for a holiday was as scarce as dinosaur shit. We scrimped and saved as much as possible in order to take the kids on holiday, turning frugality into an art form.

Around about when our youngest daughter was 8 or 9 we really struggled to afford any kind of day trip, so I bit the bullet and went to the bank to ask for a loan. I personally thought that they’d turn me down for even a small loan. However, they greeted me with hungry, bloodsucking fangs and actually helped me sign up for a loan I/we couldn’t really afford. They very ‘Kindly ‘ allowed me to borrow £3000 for a car. Actually, we spent £900 on a car that was barely fit for purpose. A Peugeot estate that was about 7 years old in 1998. To be fair it looked well, was very clean, was mechanically sound and had a large boot. With the rest of the money we bought a large tent, camping essentials, booked a couple of camping pitches on the east coast and paid a couple of overdue bills.

As a family, we were happy and now, mobile. So we made our plans, booked my holiday slot at work and waited for liftoff day to arrive for a much needed 7 day camping trip.

The trip took us to Whitby for 3 days and good old Skegness for 4 days. Our journey up to Whitby was eventful. Half way there, the new addition to the family (Mr Car) decided to indulge In a spot of flat tyre syndrome on a very busy roundabout. As you can imagine I was fucking delighted! Baring in mind the spare tyre was hidden in the boot under a tightly packed tent and utilities, as well as 2 large suitcases and various (Unnecessary bags) I was faced with a task!! I managed to steer the car to a safe spot just off the roundabout and set about the task like a rabid vampire sucking on its first virginal bottom. I was a man possessed and motivated, I couldn’t have been any faster if I’d been trying out for a Formula 1 race team. We still talk about it to this day. It took me under 15 minutes to empty the boot, Jack the car, change the wheel and repack the car. The kids of course were oblivious to my predicament and merely carried on with their building excitement.

Anyway, crisis dealt with, we carried on with our journey up to Whitby and then it became funny, interesting and absolutely brilliant.