What does friendship mean to you?

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I published this 5 years ago (It seems like 20) but probably wrote it a few years before that. I vaguely remember sitting down at the computer feeling angry and depressed (I can’t remember why)

Friendship, pardon the word, conjuring

Visions of companionship, closeness

Bordering on the edge of marriage,

Extending the limitations of a secret alliance.

How wretched are people?

The true meaning of friendship,

A common fallacy, almost every

Friendship is flawed, scarred by the weight

Of expectation.

Being there, through the good times,

Being there through the bad,

Sharing a multitude of likes, opinions,

A multitude of dislikes,

Smoking the last cigarette together,

Socializing together, fighting together,

Conscientiously objecting together,

Laughing, crying together.

All associated with “friendship true”,

Only half the truth.

How about hiding the truth,

Even though it may force you to take your last breath?

How about instinctively sensing when unhappiness

Is killing your friend?

How about knowing instinctively when to sit quietly and just listen.

How about knowing instinctively when to walk without words?

How about knowing instinctively when to pause the music, so your “best friend” can sing?

Even when they can’t.

How about sacrificing your moments of happiness

When it hurts you the most?

How about kicking the pebble away

So they won’t hurt the their (Soul) feet?

How about never, ever contemplating using your

Friend for your own ends?

How about coming second best,

So they can come first?

How about not measuring friendship

By distance?

Or the amount of spirits drank together?

How about not pretending to be someone they want you to be?

How about pretending to be the person they ask you to be?

How about encouraging your “best friend”, even when you’ve

Given up on yourself?

How about never asking or taking, just giving?

Unrequited friendship, it’s difficult, yet easy, inconvenient, painful,

An oft-time thankless task, even though

Thanks are never sought.

True friendship means just doing, because it’s the natural thing.

True friendship is not just being there,

It’s knowing, sensing, feeling your friends pain so they know they can

Rely on you, even when you’re not there.

True friendship means whatever the situation, however difficult, whatever the outcome, it’s never a thankless task.

Heartfelt words

Of thanks are never necessary, truth

Means true friendship.

Published by astijake John

Freelance writer, Husband to Angie, (In a fashion) father to 4 grown up children, (I think) grandfather to 3 beautiful boys and a brand new Grand daughter. In the process of writing my first novel. University graduate in English Literature and History BA Hons. TEFL Masters qualification. Level 3 NVQ Health and Social Care. Qualified in administering medications. Mental health support worker with Derbyshire County Council.

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51 thoughts on “What does friendship mean to you?”

  1. Pingback: Willing Yourself To Win

  3. Very nice poem!
    Yeah, it’s true that friendship means different things to different people. To me it just means being one’s most authentic self without the fear of being judged by the other. 🙂

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  7. My husband’s father told him “The only real friends you’ll ever have in your life are your parents and your wife.”
    I guess he had similar concerns and issues about friendship. But he would have been heartened and uplifted by your poignant poem, I think. 🙂

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    1. Thank you dear ‘Friend ‘ 🤪 Actually forgotten about this very rare dip into the poetry ocean. Probably wrote it at a time when I was pissed off with a few people who I thought were friends. You live and you learn 😊👍

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      1. Interesting subject John. Life might seem a lot richer for some, but for others (those who have no friends, true or otherwise,) it might not necessarily be so. My life is very rich, certainly rich enough for me, and I have no friends whatsoever. All the ones I thought I had in the past betrayed our seeming friendship. Nevertheless, I count myself one of the happiest men alive! One can live well, very well, without friends. Who want’s to know the down-and-out? Good subject, though; explored by philosophers down through the ages.

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      2. It’s true what you say mate, you’re correct. I guess it’s all relative to every individual.
        From a personal point of view I enjoy the feeling of having the rare luxury of finding a friend who is completely non judgemental. Suppose that’s a rare commodity in life.
        You really have no friends? (I’m not poking my nose into your personal life)

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      3. Perhaps I exaggerated somewhat, John. I have had friends in the past I thought were true or close and they forsook me… a bit like love and lovers in a way… As I think you point out there are many different kinds of friendship. Some friends you might trust with your life (though I have yet to meet one!) some you wouldn’t trust with your wallet! Some you would go for a drink with, some you might even travel with – tho that’s a tricky one, kind-of a sure-fire way to find your friend wasn’t the friend you thought! Oh, John, this is a big subject! I do have friends but not close friends, but don’t feel sorry for me lol cos I’m happy with life and the world – it only too 70 years! Love and best wishes to you John 😉

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  15. Very well said John! True friends seem to be so rare. Seems that most are just looking for something, but it isn’t friendship they want. But it’s great when you can find that one or two close friends. Great thoughts there!🙂😺

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  20. It’s weird because I have been thinking about friendship lately, and catching up on blogs I have read this. My H is my friend as well as my lover, going through what we went through made us realise that friendship come first, followed by love.
    The pandemic has also made me look at friendships I have, and sadly realise that as I have evolved over the years I don’t have the same outlook on life as people I would class as friends. Life has taught me to question and I struggle now with those that bury their head in the sand and don’t (even though I understand their fears.) But then isn’t that life: learning and evolving and letting go? I have written about this re my mini bus of life, with it’s small amount of seats and dropping people off on the journey. Love it John, as you can tell, really made me think. ❤️

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    1. Thanks Rosie ♥️ friendships that can stand up to the trials of life and survive are very difficult to come by. My best friend has a different take on life compared to me but I think that’s why we have remained close. Maybe that’s the secret (If there is one) Agree to disagree, do what makes you happy and laugh about your differences. Happy you liked it, I actually forgot I’d took the time to write it ♥️♥️

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  23. Yes, well put. I am glad I am not the only sensitive soul out there! You are blessed with the gift of words, too. It is hard for me to express what I feel so I am grateful for the likes of yourself who have the talent to put down in words, what I (and many others), feel .

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    1. Thank you Alison 😊 I wrote that a few years ago when I was struggling. Since then I’ve learnt to trust my intuition regarding the friends I make. I’m happy you enjoyed it and understood the words 😊👍

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